(no subject)

People.  Listen.  Do not tell me things that you want kept secret.  I AM A BLABBERMOUTH.  If I discover that you are carrying within yourself any information that I have not been made privy to, I will subsequently try and confuse you with crazy, disjointed, non-descript speech and lure you into accidentally revealing all your secrets.  I will then spill them.  To, you know, anyone with a pulse.  Hell, my dog knows who you slept with last week.

What?  At least I can admit it.