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I have decided, suicidally, that I am going to do Nanowrimo this year.  I usually skip it because I'm taking a lot of credits in the fall, but I don't think that's going to be the case this year, and goddamnit, I'm tired of having these stupid half-story ideas in my head and not ever making myself do anything with them.

As such, I'm going to cheat a bit and do some character descriptions before I start the novel.  Technically, that's not the way things are done with the Nano, but I'm afraid I'm going to spend too much time working on said characters come November 1st and not actually get any writing done.  It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to cheat if I want to, goddamnit. 

I really need to spend the rest of this year getting re-motivated with my writing in general.  I've been so lazy this past year, I've been full of excuses, and quite frankly, I've let my writer's block with regards to Ocean Blue spread over the entire so-called writerly part of my brain.  I've been trying to think about what it is that I just can't conjure up with that comic, and I think it's a mixture of being afraid to finish a story and add a level of permanence to a project combined with the constant shadow of the fact that it really never will be "my" story.  It is not easy to give characters a voice when they aren't yours.  It's not impossible (I mean, have you SEEN how many Star Wars novels there are?), but it's not easy.  I find myself struggling to make them my own somehow, and failing. 

Perhaps the solution lies in a combination of my letting go of some of the story ending paranoia and working on things that ARE truly mine, so I can start to focus on how much I used to love the actual writing process as well as the end result. 

I hate talking about my writing.  I feel stupid and pretentious and stupid.  Also, stupid.  However, I must do it occasionally, just to get it over with.  Never fear, absolutely NO ONE will be reading the finished product come December 1st, so you are all safe from my cliches and run on sentences.

There is a laptop in my house now, so expect many more pointless LJ updates. 

I have a sore throat.  It is stupid.

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• 15:10 Aaugh, conSARS. My head feels like a balloon. I will now sleep until tomorrow. #

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these are not the droids you're looking for

I am full of sickness.  I don't know if I picked it up at the con, since I was fine yesterday, but you never know.  God knows enough people were visiting our booth and leaving it all germy.  

I've been trying so hard to get some cross stitching done, but I can't get more than one or two stitches in without a sneezing fit, and it makes it hard to keep following a chart.  It sucks, because I just found a website full of anime & game cross stitch designs, and I want to try some of them.  Oh, I suppose I don't have any spare canvas on hand, though, so I wouldn't be able to do anything anyways.

Ew, I'm sweating all over the place.  Fuck this, I should just try and sleep some more.  So long, internets.