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Man. I complain far too much as of late. I think I need to shut the fuck up more often.
Hahaha - I just imagined for a moment what it would be like for me to just stop being grouchy. Even if that were somehow possible, I'm pretty sure I would just cease to be. Either that or I'd just be pure fangirl. Euugh.
I was thinking about a particular ex-boyfriend of mine today (when one calls, you start going through them all in your head like a Rolodex flipping) and remembering just how tolerant he really was. This was, oh, two, three years ago, something like that. I was ten times worse than I am now, I resented everything and everyone, I'd had to leave all my friends, my entire support group back behind in Seattle... and he was so calm through all of it. He put up with my ranting, my nastiness, my hot & cold sex drive, all of that shit.
Nice boys are the ones that you don't appreciate until you've shoved them over the edge, I think. When you finally push enough buttons and, for lack of a better term, use them up, then you see just how much you've put them through, and you feel so awful. At least, I did.
I wonder if these nice guys ever feel afraid of their own tendencies with women. I mean in particular their potential for obsession and over-tolerance. I can see myself as one of those boys going through periods of being very closely guarded in between the falling in love. Nice boys fall really, really hard, I've learned. I've had nice boys fall for me and I've watched male friends of mine slam face-first into the pavement. If that were me...
Ah, but it never would be. So there's not much point in me trying to channel nice guy feelings. Different personalities altogether.
I don't feel a bit like going running tomorrow morning, but I know I need to get out. Maybe I'll dig my bike out. Then I'm going to come back, shower, and go camp out at my goddamn temp agency. I really, really need them to find me something before the end of the month. Have to stop by the campus as well. Oh, that means spending all day in nice clothes. Fuck. I hate nice clothes.
Also - if the Olympian classifieds do not stop putting Livebridge on my recommended job list every time I log in, I will go down there and throw a very large hissy fit.
Hahaha - I just imagined for a moment what it would be like for me to just stop being grouchy. Even if that were somehow possible, I'm pretty sure I would just cease to be. Either that or I'd just be pure fangirl. Euugh.
I was thinking about a particular ex-boyfriend of mine today (when one calls, you start going through them all in your head like a Rolodex flipping) and remembering just how tolerant he really was. This was, oh, two, three years ago, something like that. I was ten times worse than I am now, I resented everything and everyone, I'd had to leave all my friends, my entire support group back behind in Seattle... and he was so calm through all of it. He put up with my ranting, my nastiness, my hot & cold sex drive, all of that shit.
Nice boys are the ones that you don't appreciate until you've shoved them over the edge, I think. When you finally push enough buttons and, for lack of a better term, use them up, then you see just how much you've put them through, and you feel so awful. At least, I did.
I wonder if these nice guys ever feel afraid of their own tendencies with women. I mean in particular their potential for obsession and over-tolerance. I can see myself as one of those boys going through periods of being very closely guarded in between the falling in love. Nice boys fall really, really hard, I've learned. I've had nice boys fall for me and I've watched male friends of mine slam face-first into the pavement. If that were me...
Ah, but it never would be. So there's not much point in me trying to channel nice guy feelings. Different personalities altogether.
I don't feel a bit like going running tomorrow morning, but I know I need to get out. Maybe I'll dig my bike out. Then I'm going to come back, shower, and go camp out at my goddamn temp agency. I really, really need them to find me something before the end of the month. Have to stop by the campus as well. Oh, that means spending all day in nice clothes. Fuck. I hate nice clothes.
Also - if the Olympian classifieds do not stop putting Livebridge on my recommended job list every time I log in, I will go down there and throw a very large hissy fit.
