(no subject)

My grandmother used to say on bad days that her colors were all washed out.  I just heard that line again on television - I think it pretty much sums things up for me at the moment.

Wednesday's anime club party was a big hit.  We made over $100.00, which means there will actually be food at the convention.  I had to leave for a while, however, because my mother couldn't drive herself home.  

I've spent the last two days driving her back and forth from Group Health.  She's been passing out, bleeding from places you're not supposed to bleed from, and the Urgent Care just keeps sending her back home.  I had a really horrible moment yesterday where she fell down outside and I had these flashbacks from the last time she had a seizure.  

She just keeps alternating between saying she's fine and panicking about what could be wrong with her.  It's been constant overreaction, but I don't really blame her.  Nobody knows what's wrong.  She's too dizzy to even walk outside without help.  

I had to take Ari to his orchestra concert last night all by myself, which meant taking him shopping beforehand since he's outgrown his old dress clothes.  That was like pulling teeth.  We finally settled on some stuff, but the second he tried the pants on at home, the button popped off.  I thought I was going to lose it.  My mom kept calling me wanting me to pick things up, my dad kept calling me asking what he should buy at Costco, and Ari was pitching fits and freaking out, and I just wanted to climb under my bed.

They called her this morning, asking her to hurry back in, so I dropped her off about 2 hours ago.  I still haven't heard from her, but I know she was worried.  My dad keeps calling.

When did it first start going this way?  At what point did the three of them decide that during any sort of crisis, I was in charge?  It wouldn't be such a big deal, but why is that it had to start going like this when I'm dealing with my own bigger-than-usual issue?  There has to be some sort of rule that things can't go all to hell for other people when they've already gone to hell for me.

It's just all a bit much.

(no subject)

I know nothing about air conditioners.

However, for $20.00/hour, I will learn.

This is the type of odd inner monologue I have when I go through the job listings.  Whenever companies post their hiring salaries, I can't help but try and talk myself into being interested in the positions.  There is not a single bone in my body that cares about HVAC systems.  But, there are many, many bones, cells, and other bits in my body that are interested in 3,000 a month gross.

The man on the phone assured me that the salary was not commission-based and that it would be in-office customer service work.  He was a nice guy, but I'm not holding my breath.  Still, I'm going in on Monday to interview.  We'll see.  I'd do a lot for that kind of money, but I do have my limits.

God, my mom's been at the clinic for 4 hours now.  I'm going a little nuts here.  I just talked to her and apparently she needs a CT scan, so I have to go drive her over to the actual hospital.  I figured, ok, then, I'll leave now.  But they haven't even contacted the hospital yet.  This is crazy.  She says it'll be soon, so I'm crossing my fingers.

Man, it's shitty outside.

(no subject)

I have no idea why I keep posting.  I get really antsy when I'm in the house alone at night... maybe that's it.

I've driven my mother back and forth between the hospital and Group Health three times now.  My head hurts so badly - I'm not a very calm driver, and going to Group Health means town driving, so that makes it even worse for me.  I figure it's just a stress headache.  I also had to run to campus and back, and drive Ari over to his friend's house to spend the night, and run to the store... I just want to go to bed.  I wish I could.  But now my mother's over at Group Health again, which means if she has to stay at the hospital, I have to go back and drive her.  And, of course, if she can go home, I have to pick her up.  So either way, no sleep.  I have to just wait up for her to call.

My dad's been calling constantly.  It frustrates me so much when he calls, because he wants information, and I have to tell him three times that I don't know what's going on before he believes me.  It's not my fault that my mom isn't telling me much - even she's not that informed.  

My period is nearly a week late now.  I know I'm not pregnant now, since I bought out the entire Rite-Aid to make sure, but it still freaks me out when I'm this late.  It's a physical sign of the recent stress I've been under.  I'm going back to PP on Wednesday, and I'm getting back on the drugs.  Obviously, my uterus cannot be left to its own devices.

I have a bid on a set of 8 bamboo crochet hooks on eBay that I want oh-so-badly.  It ends in a few hours, and if I get it, I'll only be paying $10.00 even with shipping.  They're cut all English-style, too, which is fabulous.  Since my head hurts too badly to crochet, I've just been spending the evening bumming around the intorwebz looking at patterns, and I found a hooded sweater that I must make or die trying.  My current project is coming out really well, though.  My great-grandmother taught me how to make granny squares when I was 11, and I have to say, they've never thrilled me.  I was desperate, though, for a project that would be easier to take in my bag on the bus, so I started this blanket.  

Awesome news from craftster.org - Debbie Stoller is putting together a Stitch 'n Bitch book of just men's patterns.  That's awesome.

Ooh, my mom just called, and I get to bring her home.  Good.  Bedtime will be soon.