(no subject)

Yesterday, I got a call at about 11:30 in the morning from my mom's boss.  She was working up in Tacoma and had apparently had a seizure in the parking lot soon after she got there.  I spent the afternoon on the phone until my dad was able to leave work and come home to pick me up.  After we picked up her car, we went over to Allenmore.

She was an absolute mess.  Drugged out of her mind, twitching and hallucinating, crying... I would say it was the worst I've ever seen her, but it was actually pretty much par for the course.  She had complained of such a bad headache when she arrived that they'd given her tons of narcotics, and of course, she was crying for more by the time we got there.

Basically, my dad and I kept relatively quiet while she was still in the hospital, not wanting to cause any sort of scene.  I had to drive home by myself, not being familiar with downtown Tacoma at all, so of course I got massively lost and ended up in Lakewood on the street where we lived when I was a kid.  I think I just did a homing pigeon thing or something, I don't know.  Eventually, I found the freeway.

Came home.  She was still a mess.  I had to go to Group Health to get her anti-seizure med prescription filled, and I discovered that she'd put a note stating that no one could pick up or check on her prescriptions but her, even in an emergency.  More lies and hiding.  Every little bit of calm I'd managed to hang onto was gone at that point.  I eventually got them to give me two pills so she would be okay until morning, and then I went home.

While she was lying on the couch, starting to improve, my father and I unleashed absolutely everything we had left.  Complete and total ultimatum.  They'd said at the hospital that there was nothing wrong with her brain, so it wasn't caused by any sort of tumor or disease.  So, we both knew full well that this seizure was a result of the drug and alcohol abuse, just like the last three, and there would be no more tolerance.  I went through all the bad nights, all the suffering she's caused Ari, described in detail what it felt like to have her beat me up in Vancouver with a parking lot full of people watching. 

She's agreed to go into an inpatient program and dry up, then switch to a 24-month outpatient program.  I'm taking her to Group Health today at 3 to make the arrangements.  For six months, she can't drive, so I have to take her to work and pick her up.  I'm grateful for that - at least it means that she can't go off anywhere by herself.

I wish I could say I felt better.  I mean, this is all I've ever wanted her to do.  But I just can't be happy until after it all happens.  Even then, I'll probably be waiting perpetually for the other shoe to drop.  But yesterday was one of the worst days I've ever had, and so far, today is better.  That's good enough, I suppose.